Happy Birthday Buddy!!!

Dear Buddy,

Thirteen years ago today your Daddy and I got married. I wanted a baby very very much. It wasn't practical though as we were in college, then when I realized that I had a degree I could do nothing with until I got a Master's degree and a license, I kept going, and kept waiting. It was a difficult time for me, as my heart wanted children, but my mind knew we needed to wait a while longer. When I graduated we were in debt* and I needed to work so I did for five years. During that time we began doing foster care and got dogs, in part, because I ached to have children. Finally, on June 27th, 2006, we welcomed you into the world, we celebrated our ninth anniversary in the hospital with one cute baby Z.

I share this with you because just as I longed for you, you have been very eager for your birthday. A week after your last birthday you began to ask when your next birthday is. You have talked about it on a weekly basis, if not daily for the entire year. Every time we went to a birthday party or ate out and heard that familiar tune, "Happy Birthday to you..." you cried. We were unable to read books to you that referenced birthdays birthdays for fear that it might stir up that eagerness in you for something that was months away. Finally, it was upon us.

Saturday was your last day as a three year old. I savored every moment with you. I got to hold you after you hit your mouth on the desk while you were being silly walking around with a towel over your head. I was so glad your teeth were ok and you only got a bloody lip. I thought a loss of teeth would be the icing on the cake after you cut your own hair the day before, leaving a giant gap in the middle of your bangs. Just in time for your party. You danced, jumped on the bed, we played library and played outside. At lunch as we sat at the table, I decided to ask my soon to be four year old boy a big boy question, just to make conversation.

M- "Who is God?"

Z - "I don't know."

M - "What do you know about God?"

Z - "God is dead." [I'm in shock, have you been reading Nietzche?]

M - "What did you say?"

Z - "God is dead." [now I'm feeling like a bad mom]

M - "What makes you say that?"

Z - "He died on a cross." [huge relief right about now]

I proceeded to talk to you about how Jesus, who is God, did, in fact, die to pay for the sins of Mommy, Daddy, Buddy, and Juju. He died so we don't have to, then He rose again and still lives today. You listened, then asked to play thumb war with me. I obliged and you beat me...again...with the help of your other hand.

After your nap, Daddy took you to the community farm with your sister so I could work on your cake and wrap presents for the big party we had on Sunday. You shared a party with your cousin, Jenna, Aunt Biz and Uncle Andy as you do every year. You got horrible sunburn on your back from playing in the pool and too few sun lotion applications but you had so much fun and slept all the way home.

We hid some of your presents to pull out later, as you got so many toys. They'll be fun on a rainy day. We'll be going through old toys today and giving some away. Today your Daddy is off work and he made you a fort out of giant appliance boxes from our friends at Weaver Appliance. You put on a puppet show for us today out of one of them. The four of us played hide and seek together upstairs, played checkers with Fruit Loops and played with your new toys. You're a four year old now and I'm very proud of the big boy you are. I hope your birthday was all that you had hoped for it to be, I know meeting you has been a dream come true for me.

All my love,

Mom

*We still have that stinky loan of mine to pay off, but thankfully it's the last one we have. Hopefully when you're old enough to read this and understand it, we'll be completely out of debt!

P.S. Here's one more video of you and your sister on your last day as a three year old: