Sunday, April 15, 2007

Many words

Dear Zerbik Friend,

I'm going to try and recapture the original purpose of this site with this post, to share where I'm at, right now, with God. So, there's a couple of interesting spiritual matters at hand: Censoring my mouth and this heavy feeling in my chest. Sounds physical, I know, but it's this dialogue between me and God that makes it also very spiritual.

We'll start with censorship which we, Americans are so against. The difference is that I'm censoring myself and trying to filter out the good for nothing stuff. I've always known I talked a lot. Sadly, I don't always put a lot of thought into what I say. In fact, I often think things through out loud. This can have disastrous consequences. I came across Proverbs 10:19, "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise," and knew God would be dealing with me on this.

Just yesterday I came across a blog talking all about gossip. The part that grabbed me was when the author connected this verse with what we say:
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8
I always kind of thought of this verse as help for what to do when I'm not talking! Like when I'm daydreaming or something. It always sounded whimsical and fancy-free, like "Oooh, pretty bird." That's what I'm supposed to think about. Well, I'm not too bad about that actually! Since I speak my thoughts out loud, there's not always a great deal going on inside when I'm quiet, at least nothing yucky.

A while ago, my husband lovingly pointed out that the celebrity news I was so fond of reading at the checkout line and watching on T.V. shows were really another form of gossip. This really floored me! It seems obvious now, but I guess I thought of gossip more as talking about people I knew. I just thought I'd share that.

OK, so yesterday I tried all day to filter what I said through that verse. Is it lovely? Is it pure? Is it right? [I've made this my memory verse effective immediately as I struggled all day to quote it accurately AND to make matters worse, I made one of my teenagers who lived with me memorize this!] So, I must and will memorize this verse. But, I ended up not saying at least a couple of things yesterday because of it. Which was soooo hard!

I've also been trying to censor what I say to my poor husband (who hears my every thought good or bad). Not only does he not need to be brought down with every injustice that happens to me in a day (the old ladies at Kohls took the carts with baby seats and left me with the carts with no baby seat!) But, I tend to be a bit critical and/or maybe a little (extremely) guilt provoking when I talk to him. I AM the ultimate in martyrs, really! So, there's a lot to be censored. Oh, and sometimes I might try to manipulate him ever so slightly by not coming right out and telling him what I want. Just a wee bit. I'm really hoping to be a neck that supports the head someday, not just always trying to turn it.

OK, so as to not overspeak my welcome here, I want to quickly share the other neato thing that's happening in my life! Well, at first it was kind of concerning. I knew it wasn't physical in origin, but I wasn't so sure it was from God or my own issues. I started getting a heavy pressure in my chest after being around certain people. I've brought home demons before (I'm a mental health counselor, remember?) and it was not like that. OK, maybe it's my asthma. Just kidding. I've had THAT my whole life, and this just started a few months ago. Over time, I took note of who gave me the pressure in my chest and realized I was having a physical burden for those people. Weird, huh? Sometimes it lasts one day, sometimes five days. So, I pray for the person that kicked off the chest pressure until it goes away. I just started to write letters of encouragement to those people too. Usually, I know why I'm hurting for the person, but not always. Anyways, normally I wouldn't share this with anyone, but I sure wish others would share these types of things, so I'm throwing myself out there. So, thanks for taking the time to read! If you missed my last Zerbik about two amazing men of God, please check it out!

Blessings on your day,


Rachel said...

Hi Becca!
That verse looks very familiar. Am I the one who memorized it? I think its very cool that God is giving you physical signs when he wants you to pray for someone or write encouraging letters to them. Whats even better is that when you do something about a certin feeling you have the physical pains in your chest go away! I am similiar in a way. I get stomach achs when I have a burden or there is a spirital battle inside of me. Your doing great on censoring yourself! Take care and I love you! rachel

Becca said...

You were indeed that teen that I asked to memorize this verse. You must remember some part of it to recognize it! I've had those kind of stomach aches too, usually when I need to make some serious changes to get right with God. Even our bodies know when we are not living in accordance with God's will, isn't that awe-inspiring?

Rachel said...

I had a good idea that I was the teenager but wasn't completly sure. How could I forget the "whatever" in the verse. lol Anyways I changed my comment settings so anyone can leave a comment. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I would have never noticed it. Have you memorized the verse yet? Love ya Rachel

eDOT said...

I sure like the look of your blog.
The internet is certainly a great
to have a great witness to many.

If you're interested, I've posted
some blog links (including yours -
hope that's alright) of others who
are doing the same...

Professor Howdy said...

I think it's great when people
use the internet in an evangelistic
way like you're doing.

That's what I'm trying to do
also with my blog. I try not
to look religious and my
hook is humor and yet
controversial issues are
also discussed. As long
as it's evangelical with
a Biblical Worldview
and interesting, I try
to include it.

Please pray for us -
we're often under
attack and have
been for our entire
10 year existence.

Thanks again for
what you're doing...

Your Internet Friend,
Professor Howdy

Hilzarie said...

Well said.