The Love Journey

I've been praying that God would teach me how to love others. Oh, and to rip my awful pride out too. I'm so darn selfish and proud. Anyways, it didn't dawn on me until last night that it's probably related to that prayer that I felt God drawing me to memorize 1 Corinthians 13, yup the whole love chapter. I've got the first seven verses down. I'm chunking it (psycho-babble term for dividing it into chunks) then writing out the chunk several times every night until I think I have it down. I also try to quote it to Ezra while I'm putting him to sleep for his naps and at bedtimes. Our church decided to start memorizing scripture too starting with 1 Corinthians 9:24-25. Maybe I'll end up memorizing the whole book! That would definitely be worthy of a "Super" sticker. I'll keep you posted on that one!

So, I feel I'm on some sort of learning to love journey. On a somewhat related topic, I've been thinking a lot about how us moms like to pick each other a part. I didn't realize how brutal it could get until I became a mom. It's cut throat, I'm telling you! "You do what?!" "You're still nursing?" "You're co-sleeping?" and so on and so on. I was [ahem] priding myself in how accepting I was of other moms and not judging different parenting styles, when I got some feedback from some people about my parenting style. Without a thought [that's probably key here] I defended myself, if only in my head, then found myself being critical of them!
Ack! I've figured out two places criticism can come from: ego-centrism (thinking you're the top tomato) or from insecurity (or jealousy which is rooted in insecurity). The latter happens because we want others to think we're a good mom, and we're somewhat dependent on others to reassure us of this. So, ideally I would be OK with my abilities as a Mom all by myself, and recognize that my ways aren't always going to work for others and vice versa. Easier said than done especially when we all can agree that being 'Mom' is the most important job we've ever had and most would admit we don't always know what to do as each child and circumstance is different. So, as I write this I'm realizing how humbling God must have meant motherhood to be. Funny that [say with English accent], when Moms often have a reputation for being prideful. I guess my two prayers were very related as I think about it now. Maybe by being humble and not being defensive or criticizing, I am loving others. It's a step anyways. Here's part of my memory chapter with an ambitious twist:

Moms are patient, moms are kind to their kids and to each other. They do not envy even when other moms dress their kids better; they do not boast even when their kid really is amazing, they are not proud or defensive, but humble and non judgemental. Moms are not rude to anyone, they are not self-seeking, they are not easily angered, they keep no record of their children's, husband's or their own wrongs. Moms do not delight in evil, but rejoice with the truth. They always protect and teach their children right from wrong, always trust others, always hope and expect the best in people, and always persevere in their hard work.